Monday, 31 March 2014

I'm back to blog. Cause I doesn't want someone to read this basically I know he will somehow, somewhat read this anyway. 

So I guess things was kinda sort out a few weeks or a month ago. But then slowly day after day it kinda twisted around again. Quarrel almost everyday or perhaps is EVERY BLOODY SINGLE DAY! Nevermind, I'm just too tired to be bothered. Just sick and tired of the same cycle repeating over and over again. Why? Why did I even choose you over 2,579,827,924 people out there? Why? Fate? Maybe.. But I don't think so. Just doesn't know what to do next. 
Everyday, I started a text, every morning text and goodnight text. I started a conversation with you. I started to entertain you. You even asked me to give you morning and goodnight text. Which most people should know that I bloody hate texting people first. You should be glad that I choose you over everything, I put you in my first priority. And now you say I give you one word reply, then you doesn't know what to reply. So you just "lol, ok" means expecting me to continue on with your sentence ?! Which mean when you always "ok" and "yea" me you allow me to "lol, ok" you back? Then I will do so next time. But make sure that you don't fucking give me attitude when I do so. I'm bloody tired, both physically and mentally! I'm sick. But I pretended I wasn't. I entertain you back. What I got back was bloody full of shits from you. I have enough. Just enough. You have limits, I have as well. Think of others not just yourself. You are human and so am I. You think you cannot hander the attitude I have, so am I. But what can I do. I chose you in the first place. I accepted you, and I have to accept every other bullshits along. 
I have plenty of heart break in me is just that you never know. You will be in tears if you were in my shoes. It may seem easy on the outside but definitely you never knew what I did to myself every single night. 
This year I got much worse with my own attitude, I can't control them somehow, but I'm trying to. I try to talk nicely and you come along and make it worser. You want quarrel then so be it. I just can't be bothered with any bullshits anymore. I sacrifice whatever I have within me. If you think it's easy to be me then try stand in my position. 

Enough just enough of bullshits. I'm done!

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